Enjoying The Summer

So as many of you know I have been engaged for almost a year now, wow it is crazy how fast time goes by! The summer is always a difficult time for me because I have much more free time to look at wedding stuff which leads to me getting upset that it is not here yet. So after a frustrating day yesterday and a good night sleep I have decided to just enjoy the summer, no more wedding planning until my mom and I sit down and set a budget and a check list for what to do first. It seems that I get so excited about summer and never really enjoy it. So I have decided to do all the fun things that I have no time to do during the school year, going to the beach, reading a good book, taking classes at the gym, going to the movies, taking jake to the dog park. So for the first time in a long time I plan on enjoying my summer because soon I wont have summers to enjoy!

I saw god today

I have spent several months searching for a church to worship. While there were a few really great churches they just werent opening my soul to God in the way I wanted or yearned for. This morning I attended a church where an old childhood pastor preached and I have never felt so alive during a worship in my life. I had goosebumps as he preached and while I sat there I realized that this was it, I had found a home. After all that searching God truly spoke to my heart this morning in that service. It was there that I remembered something that is not always right in front of me, God is always there every day every minute even when Im not looking for him and I am so greatful for that. There is a song I recently heard that describes this the best. Its called I saw god today and its about how God is there in every wonderful and terrible moment; hes the calm after the storm and he is all the wonderful moments and stories. Today I challenge myself and you to be more observant of God's presence in our lives.

Unmotivated

As I was driving yesterday I saw this kid walk across the street wearing a shirt that said genius by birth slacker by choice. To some people this may be comical or just words but it deeply angered me. I have a very difficult time dealing with the fact that people have the ability and they dont use it. This kid may or may not be the definintion of his shirt but just the words on his shirt make my blood boil. When I was in school I had to work so hard and sometimes only make c's and my brother who could make a's with his hands tied behind his back just didnt care. He eventually began to understand the importance of school but I would get so angry and he never understood why. I hope that I do not suffer this with my own children someday because I dont really know how to deal with it. I can only pray for myself to be understanding and not jump to anger before explanation and for these kids to realize their full potential and use it as God has intended them to.

Learn To Be Still

Today is my day off and I have decided to spend it relaxing, something I seldom do. I dont always know how to be "Still" as my father and the eagles put it. I do believe that this is why I am always so run down. So I am challenging myself to enjoy the days where there is nothing to do instead of packing my day with so many activities. I have to remember that sometime it is nice just to be home by yourself to read watch tv or even just to clean. I dont cherrish the to myself time as much as I should. Today I will spend the day doing things for myself, getting organized, reading a book, and just enjoying some quiet time that I seldom have and know that in the years to come it will get smaller and smaller.

It has not been until recently that I have truly realized how important my family is. I always liked to hang out with my family, but it was just something I did. Something I assumed everyone did until I made friends who thought it was crazy that I ate dinner with my family every night. This is weird? I have done this my whole life I thought. Then as I met my fiance and soon to be husband I noticed that he enjoyed his families company as much as I did. Over the past five years we have spent so much time at family gatherings for both his family and mine and I knew that this was something that would always be important to me even after our kids are grown. I am now at a point where I look forward to those sunday dinners with his family or cookouts with mine and now that we have our own house I look forward to the family gatherings we can have there. It never matters what we do, just that we are together and it some how makes everything in life so much more meaningful. No matter what I go through turning to anyone in my family is always an option and a luxury that I have more recently learned that not everyone has and I am truly blessed for that. I love everyone that I call family!

After everything that I have gone through over the past year I have decided one thing,that life is too short to worry about what people think or who is mad at who. I have decided to live every day as if it were my last and try my best not to be too sensitive to what people say. I have such a blessed life, a wonderful family, fiancee, and extended family. I am about to start my last semester of college and earn a degree in something that I love so much. I cannot wait to help those in need, especially children. As the end of a bad year comes to a close (it all began in June) I plan to embrace the simple things that life has to offer.