When?

I have been working on my anxiety issues a lot lately. Listening to books on tape and trying different methods of how to not get anxious over just about anything. I think my anxiety bothers me most because I have never been like this before..but isnt that how it starts for most people? As children we live in this world of nothing bad can ever happen and we arent afraid of anything..mainly because we dont know we are supposed to be. I lived in this world most of my life, I had no fears. But then something happened and it was like over night I suddenly became scared of everything. I keep trying to think of what occurred in my life to cause this to happen and I cant seem to pin point it. I know when it got worse but not when it started. As I listen to my book on tape on dealing with anxiety I long to go back to the carefree spirit I once had where nothing scared me. It seems I dont know how to get back there. At that point in my life nothing had occurred to make me fearful of anything, these days much has occurred to make me fearful. I tell myself I am going to do this, I am not going to be scared and this little voice pops into my head of all the reasons I should be scared and the anxiety starts all over again. I think part of this never ending anxiety is a defense mechanism..if I get scared enough not to do it then I dont have to worry about what might happen if I do do it. But the problem with that is that the outcome may not be bad, it may be good. So essentially I could be missing out on something incredible. I am determined to try and conquer this fear slowly. I will start to be the carefree, go with the flow person I used to love. I must constantly remind myself that this will take time and if I fall down now and then its ok, I just have to get up and try again.