Sometimes you just have to trust him

As yesterday passed I guess I some how expected by pain to be put behind me. As if the year marker would make all the hurt go away. While yesterday there were no triggers today was not so forunate. A year from yesterday my dear sweet uncle gave up his long fought battle with cancer and although I am so thankful he is no longer in all the pain my pain still seems to be very present. Coming six short months after my grandfathers unexpected death I was still very much in shock when we learned he would not have much longer. I was there everyday that week and as long and as tiring as the week was, it was special because I was there with him every day until he was ready to go. I remember that last night we went home late and I slept a very light sleep until the phone rang and I knew. I drove across town early that morning to be with my cousins, aunt, and to say a last farewell to by uncle. I dont like to say I have a favorite aunt or uncle but as my only uncle on my mom's side I feel it is fair to say he was and will always be my favorite. I miss his phone calls and his always caring and comforting concern about how I was doing in school. He knew how much harder school was for me than for my brother and sister but he never made me feel bad about it, he just wanted me to do the best I could. I only wish he could have been there this Christmas so I could tell him I was a grade away from straight A's something that has not happened since elementary school. As much as I wish he was still here I thank God for taking him when he did, you see we didnt think he was going to make it when he was first diagnosed with the cancer and he made it a miraculous six years after that diagnosis. Six years I had with him that I could not have had. Six years he was able to see grandkids be born and grow. Six years he was able to see me fall in love and get to know the man I will soon call my husband, my family. As I have finally been able to let these feelings resurface I hope that I can soon find peace with losing such an incredible man that I was fortunate enough to call my uncle for twenty years of my life. I hope I make you proud and will continue to for the rest of my life. I love you so much and miss you everyday!
p.s. you have a beautiful granddaughter whose smile lights up the room, something we all need